I am a traveler.  I am a yogini.  I haul two yoga mats to every destination-one to throw down in shaded grass or on the top of a park picnic table and a clean one for visits to local studios.

Being a traveling yogini can be hard on a natural introvert.  Oftentimes, I fight the urge to turn and run just before entering an unfamiliar studio.  If I spy an onlooker as I move on my yoga mat outdoors, my heart leaps backwards in my chest-a childish attempt to hide from imagined criticism.

When I began traveling, I believed I would be able to let go of my introversion completely and at once.  Experience has taught me shyness is not a mere trinket I can choose to leave out of my luggage.  Wherever I go, there I am.

However, each year, with love and compassion for self, I expand and extend further.  The experience of slowly releasing the tightness of my legs and hips in Gomukasana (Cow Face Pose) has taught me that I must patiently let go of my shyness with commitment and discipline.  I must work through pain and discomfort.

As I work with these ideas and feelings, I find the root emotion of my shyness is fear.  This fear, like many others, has the potential to be classified in many ways-fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of being exiled by peers.

As much as I think the person next to me in class or the onlooker in the park will hold me in higher esteem if I can hold Bakasana (Crow Pose) for 10 breaths, the truth is they probably are not counting.

In the quietness and honesty of meditation, I find the common thread of this social anxiety is the fear of being unlovable.  Like many others, I believe that my spirit is something I must hide and protect.  Though my head and heart know that hiding my sensitive soul is not the way I want to live, I have to practice letting go of my insecurities to enact change.

In the safe container of my yoga mat, I practice Ustrasana (Camel Pose) to experience the vulnerability of an open heart.  As I lean my head backwards and push my chest into the world, a river of vibrant energy emanates from my heart and into my solar plexus.  These sensations tell me that my heart and will are ready to shine.  As I move this message out into the world, I practice existing with bold and determined love.

Traveling allows me the opportunity to check in with my progress.  Though I cannot leave shyness and fear out of the luggage, they begin to take up smaller spaces.  Through my practice on the mat, I know that holding onto the fear of being unlovable does not serve me.  By living in fear, I deny my highest self the opportunity to shine.  In the end, I know that I, like everyone else, am love.

As Hanuman Festival draws closer, I prepare myself to check in on my progress once again.  I meditate on the aspects of personal evolution I hope to observe while interacting in the unique and supportive festival community.

In just a few short weeks, I will find myself on the mat next to yours, extending my heart and giving gratitude to the mystery.

Kaci Yoh has cried in more asanas then she cares to admit.  She teaches vinyasa flow classes and is grateful for the opportunity to teach and learn yoga as an exercise in experiencing herself and others.  When not on her mat, she can be found writing, trail running, swimming, or somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.

Hindu mythology is ripe with drama, excess and wild twists and turns. The story of Hanuman inspires and reminds us that we all have deep reserves of perseverance within us to overcome all obstacles and challenges we may face in this world.

Thought to be a reincarnation of Lord Shiva, Hanuman was the strongest and wisest of all the monkey gods. But he wasn’t just born that way. Baby Hanuman was ambitious and playful, but also, unbeknownst to him, very powerful. One day, he mistakenly thought the sun was a piece of delicious fruit dangling from the sky and he leaped up to grab it. Indra, the god of war and weather, quickly diverted Hanuman’s sneak attack on the sun and struck him with a lightning bolt, hurdling him back toward Earth. Before Hanuman could reach the ground, his godfather, the wind god Pavana, swooped him up and carried him off of Earth toward safety. But when Hanuman left Earth, all beings suffered and Lord Brahma had to beg Pavana to bring Hanuman back. As a reassurance that Hanuman would remain safe for the rest of his life, Brahma bestowed superpowers and immortality to baby Hanuman.

Back from the ether, Hanuman devoted himself to intense study and became very wise. He met Lord Rama and devoted his life to assisting him in the war against evil. Through this extreme devotion, Hanuman is most known for saving Lakshmana by leaping across the Earth in search of a life-saving herb. Knowing he didn’t have much time, Hanuman activated his reserves of incredible strength and picked up the whole mountain, leaped back across the Earth and returned to Lakshmana’s side to save her life just in time.

Beyond his extreme devotion, wisdom and physical strength, Hanuman was that prince in shining armor who also exuded humility and a lighthearted attitude toward life. His sense of humor humanized him, and his humble tendencies stole the hearts of all of India and the world. Today, Hanuman is one of the most revered mythic gods in the Hindu religion.

To the founders and team members of the annual Hanuman Yoga & Music Festival in Boulder, CO, Hanuman inspires us to devote to our yoga practice on and off the mat. The best way we know how to serve is by offering an inspiring, fun-filled yoga festival for the country and world to come together and raise the vibration to inspire lasting change.

Hanuman Festival was born from the intense desire of local Boulder yogis and teachers to connect the Colorado, national and global yoga communities at the base of the Rocky Mountains in beautiful Boulder, CO, one of the bedrocks of yoga in the United States.

This year’s festival, June 8-10, 2012, welcomes some of the top teaching talents in the world, from Richard Freeman, Beryl Bender Birch and Amy Ippoliti, to Kathryn Budig, Tiffany Cruikshank, Darren Main, Noah Maze, Faith Hunter and so many others. Beyond the yoga, the festival features incredible music and dance parties presented by White Swan Records with DJ Drez, Desert Dwellers, Donna DeLory, Durga Das and many others.

This year’s Vendor Village will feature hundreds of eco-conscious companies, live music, circus performers, the new Hanumission speaker series and free activities throughout the day.

Hanuman Festival is a place to immerse yourself in body, mind and heart as you relax and rejuvenate, dance and devote, connect and expand, have fun, and just be. Just like Hanuman.

Tickets are now on sale! Please join us on Facebook for the latest updates on class availability and weekend festivities.

Jai Hanuman! (that means Victory!)

Read the original article on Yoganonymous.com.

Some people’s bodies tell them “ok, you’ve gone far enough out of your comfort zone” with low back pain or a tweaky shoulder… I get swollen painful lips and itchy red eyes. The message that I’ve gone beyond my capacity is in my face, and it’s in your face, and it sends me deep into vulnerablity and discomfort. I can’t hide the icky-ness, it’s just out for all to see.

I knew Tadasana Festival would be a huge opportunity for growth, I just thought it would be a little more sunny on this mountain. I was expecting the Goddess like growth that feels like I’m standing tall on my peak with my wings out and my wavy blonde hair blowing delicately in the sea wind. Instead, today felt more like I’m digging around through a giant foggy mud pile.

This afternoon, I was wandering through the beautiful Festival grounds honestly looking for a hiding place, when I stumbled upon a familiar face. As the conversation progressed beyond the chitchat, I was reminded that it is actually, officially, and fully accepted to explore the mud and the fog at a yoga festival. That it is pretty natural during a New Moon for introverts, like myself, to feel even more introverted. That the only one disturbed by my minor facial abnormalities, was me.

And so when I showed up to my last class of the day, I felt so raw and vulnerable, that I couldn’t stand the idea of connecting with anyone or anything.  As if they appeared from nowhere, two kiddos were suddenly in my view. One of the kids turned to his caretaker and said firmly and loudly “Stop pushing me”. Message received…

With a high five from my own inner child, I gratefully left class early. Strolling into the foggy evening, I hopped onto my bike and gently rode to Whole Foods to pick up some GF cookies and a box of Tulsi tea.

Can’t wait to see what Day 3 of this Festival brings… maybe I’ll find my wings.

Photo gratitude to the amazing Carl Kerridge.

Have you ever taken a yoga class where, at the end, it feels like you just threw up? I mean that it was so clearing and powerful that afterwards you are trembling and sobbing and feel like that ick that was ruining your world has been suddenly flushed away?

Well, that’s how I felt today after Elena Brower’s class at Tadasana Festival. Granted, it was my 3rd class of the day. (AND I started at 8am a Brock and Krista Cahill Handstand party). Elena’s message today was “global gratitude with no preference”. As we moved through the postures, she spoke to sending gratitude into the body… can you send your energy, your focus, your gratitude to every cell in your body… no preferences?

The concept of no preference really hit me in savasana… when she invited us to be grateful for someone we wouldn’t normally be grateful for. Of course, who pops to mind for me but “rip your heart to shreds “ guy.  And then I had this magical flashback. Three years ago, and shortly after my break up from the guy above, I got in my car and drove from Colorado to California. When I got to the ocean, I parked the car walked out to the ocean and sobbed. Desperate heaves of confusion and pain pulsed through my being. I found myself in a dazed state staring into the ocean, praying for support.

Laying in savasana today, I realized THE EXACT spot where Tadasana Festival is, is where I had that sobfest almost EXACTLY 3 years ago. That’s significant for me because I’ve only been to Santa Monice 2 or 3 times. What was once a place of sorrow and fear for me, is now a place of celebration and gratitude.

When I reflect on how awesome my life has been over the last three years, I really am grateful for that guy. Our relationship and break up was a catalyst for change in my world. Today, on the floor of this incredible yoga class, I saw him as an angel, who threw me off a cliff to see if I could fly.  When I finally surrendered into gratitude for the service he did, I felt a huge tidal wave of gratitude come out of the ocean of my heart and touch every being, no preference.

This weekend, I have come once again, to the ocean to pray. This time, I pray with abundance, with trust, with gratitude, and an unspeakable knowing that I am divine. I’ve found my home in the Yoga community. I am honored to serve this community, knowing that it serves all beings, no preference. Moments like this one, are WHY I believe so deeply in Yoga and the gathering of community in the shape of the Festival.

To every being who helped put together Tadasana Festival… from the visionaries Tommy and Fabian,  to the trees who provided the wood for the floors… Thank you, I love you.

Photo gratitude goes to  Carl Kerridge.